At 4.40 am I heard the lounge door slam downstairs.
My first instinct was to see what had caused the noise, but I already had an idea. Quietly, I crept out of bed and checked on the children. The space where our youngest sleeps was empty, the duvet thrown back just enough for him to sneak out. He had woken up and gone downstairs to wait for us all to join him and start the day. He had misunderstood the timing of things, thinking it was right to be awake.
I found him in the dark, curled into a ball on the couch, cold and barely awake. I did not chastise him or tell him he was wrong. I did not get angry or point out his error. Instead, I pulled him up into my arms and held him, the sweetness of his skin against mine. There was a sense of security in the way he held on to me, an assurance that I would come for him despite his confidence that he had made the right decision. Even though his decision hadn’t yielded the results he had hoped for, his mommy stepped in and loved him. It took a while for him to warm up again, and he shivered in my arms until he fell asleep in the warm comfort of our embrace.
How often do we misunderstand God’s timing?
How often do we do things in our own strength?
Pillage our way forward, force things?
How often do we make decisions and find ourselves alone in the dark, cold and lost?
I have taken such wisdom from Exodus 33:15, “…if your Presence does not go with us, do not bring us up from here.”
I’m in a place now where I won’t move unless God is taking me there. Like you, I have spent way too much time waiting in the dark, trusting that even though I made a mistake, my Father in heaven will come.
And He does.
He goes out for the one sheep that went astray. (Luke 15:3-7)
He gives us strength. (Isaiah 41:10)
He helps us.
He holds us up with His righteous right hand.
He draws us up from the pit of destruction. (Psalm 40:1-3)
From the miry bog.
He sets our feet upon a rock, making our steps secure.
He is with us when our hearts are broken. (Psalm 34:18-19)
When our spirits are crushed.
When we are afflicted.
He comes for us.
He gives us strength. (Isaiah 40:31)
We soar with him with on wings like eagles.
We walk stronger.
Cry out to Jesus.